Lilly's Birth Story - CLASSY SASSY

Hey everyone!

I’m (finally) getting around to sharing Lilly’s birth story–almost a month late, but that’s ok ;).

First of all, I cannot believe that it’s been almost a MONTH since Lilly came into the world! Our lives have certainly been changed forever, and M. and I could not be more in love with being Lilly’s parents.

So you all might remember through my bump-dates on the blog that my due date was October 10th. You might also remember through my Instagram posts and blog post announcing Lilly’s arrival, I went a little past that date!

The last few weeks leading up to delivery were quite interesting, to say the least, and it’s a rather drawn out labor story! You can either read my entire journey through pre-labor and delivery, or you can skip ahead to the end and just read about the day-of stuff. I won’t be offended. 🙂

Pre-Labor

September 29th: At my 38 week check-up, I was dilated to 3 cm and 50% effaced, and Lilly had already “dropped” into my pelvis. My doctor was pretty sure I would go into labor by the end of the weekend, which I was thrilled to hear!

October 1st: At 2 am, I woke up with contractions that were mild, but started getting closer and closer together. After timing them for an hour, I woke M. up and we headed to the hospital. This was it!, I thought—Buut, it wasn’t. After spending a couple of hours at the hospital, my contractions slowed down, and we were discharged to go home, exhausted, disappointed, and slightly embarrassed.

So began daily walking sessions, bouncing on my exercise ball, drinking ~~gallons~~ lots of cinnamon stick tea…You name it, we probably tried it in hopes of inducing labor.

October 7th: 39 week appointment, 4 cm dilated and 75% effaced. Contractions off and on, almost on a daily basis at this point, so surely this baby is going to come any day, now!

That evening, I started having contractions that kept getting closer together, lasting between 1 to 2 minutes, and about 5 minutes apart. M. and I walked around the block to see if that would get the contractions to really kick in. After a couple of hours of contractions, we again headed to the hospital.

Same as last time, discharged a couple of hours later, even more embarrassed.

At this point, I am feeling rather discouraged that my body won’t seem to get it in gear and go into labor. My mother was 2 weeks early with all of my siblings and I, and my sister was 12 days early with my niece and nephew. Why wasn’t my body doing the same thing?

October 8th-15th: I had very little contractions in the week prior to Lilly’s birth. M. and I continued to walk every evening, bounce on my exercise ball, etc. To say that I was discouraged and frustrated would be a huge understatement. I was desperate to meet my baby!

October 13th: 40 week appointment, still 4 cm dilated and this time 80% effaced (yay, some change!). Baffled that I was still pregnant, my doctor assured me that this was normal, and scheduled me to be induced the next week, just in case I didn’t go into labor on my own.

October 17th: My birthday rolled around, and to be honest, I had a really difficult time enjoying it because 1) I was still pregnant (and now a week past my due date), and 2) I was facing the possibility and fear of having to be induced 3 days later.

October 18th: I felt utterly exhausted, miserable, but somehow at peace with possibly having to be induced in two days. You may recall from my IG post that day, that I had stayed in my PJs until 5pm. Boy, did I look like a hot mess! M. and I made plans for getting last-minute preparations done the following morning, took a shower, and went to bed.

October 19th: Delivery Day

3:12 am: I “woke up” (I didn’t actually fall asleep, just dozed off) to contractions that were stronger than others I had previously had. On a scale from 1-10, they were about a 6, and about 5 minutes apart. I tried not to get excited, having already been to the hospital twice, so I distracted myself on my phone and began texting back and forth with my best friend, Lisi, in Germany.

4:02 am: I woke M. up, told him I thought it was “for real” this time, but that we didn’t need to rush to the hospital just yet, as my water had not broken, and the contractions were uncomfortable but not excruciating (at this point, they were 3 minutes apart). While M. got dressed and quickly tidied up around the apartment, I blow-dried my hair and threw some mascara on because I had no idea when I’d be able to do that again (silly, I know). Every time a contraction came, I had to stop what I was doing and breathe through them, and M. had to apply counter pressure to help. At this point, I knew for certain that it was the real thing, so at 4:45am, we left for the hospital.

I’ll pause right here for a moment, because you all might be wondering why the heck I waited until my contractions were 3 minutes apart before heading to the hospital—We live only 5 minutes from the hospital (10, if traffic is bad), so we really didn’t need to rush!

Ok, back to the story…

4:55 am: Got checked in, and hooked me up to the fetal heart and contraction monitors to confirm that I was indeed in active labor, and asked if I planned on having an epidural or going natural (I planned on going natural) . At this time, Lilly was wide awake and moving around so much, that the nurse kept having to adjust the monitor to keep track of her heart rate!

6:00 am: Cervix was checked, and I had dilated to 5 cm and 90% effaced. I was moved into a delivery room that had a whirlpool tub (soooo amazing), and was hooked up to an IV.

I needed a small round of preventative antibiotics because my GBS test came back positive (no worries), but after a couple of hours, I was able to hop into the whirlpool tub to help with contractions. (ahhhh)

6:15-3:30ish: I don’t remember exact timing from here on out, but the contractions were about a 9 on my pain scale, coming every 2 minutes and lasting about 2 minutes. I changed position every hour, sometimes rocking back and forth on an exercise ball, leaning over the back of the hospital bed, hands and knees on the floor, etc. M. was such a help the entire time, telling me I was doing such a great job, applying counter pressure and feeding me ice chips, rubbing my back…I would not have been able to stay calm and (relatively) relaxed during labor without him!

I remember at some point in the afternoon feeling exhausted and starting to doubt whether I could go on much longer. I was running on very little sleep, I hadn’t eaten much except for ice chips and a small cup of jello (which I had already thrown back up…ew), and the contractions were coming about every minute.

I was so tired, that I even started dozing off between contractions!

I looked at M. and whispered, “I don’t think I can do this anymore…I’m so so tired”.

My poor husband felt so bad for me, but he knew that I wanted to see this through, and he reassured me that I could, indeed, do this. (Bless this man of mine!)

The nurse checked my cervix again, and told me that I was dilated a little more than 8 cm.

8 cm. That was the goal I had set in my mind to reach. If I could make it to 8 cm without needing an epidural, then I could keep going the last 2 cm and push.

Now sh** got real. If I thought my contractions were a 9 before, they were suddenly downgraded to a 6, and I discovered what a real “9” felt like!

Let’s just say that my manners quickly left the building, and I begged God to “kill me now”. Not long after that, I was begging M. to “cut the baby out”–I was done.

The midwife came in to do a final cervical check and see if I wanted her to break my water to make things speed up. However, when she checked my cervix, my water broke on its own…All over her, and the hospital bed.

Glamorous.

For two minutes following that, I was in utter bliss. I kid you not, I was in no pain, the intense pressure I had been feeling was gone, and I felt almost euphoric!

Pushing Time

Every woman I’ve talked to who has gone through labor, described it as the urge to push.

That makes it sound like I’m in Nordstrom and have the “urge” to purchase that $400 pair of Tory Burch riding boots, but am still able to walk away.

I had absolutely no say in the matter, my body was pushing, and I was just along for the ride! The nurse helped me get into a comfortable position, lying on my left side and the nurse holding my right leg. At some point, I had taken off my hospital gown because I was burning up, so I was completely bare. In front of an entire room of people.

Apparently my sense of decency had also left the building with my manners.

The first couple of contractions, I had no idea what I was doing, and didn’t push productively. I will say that pushing was not as painful as the contractions had been leading up to that point. I could actually fight back, and in between, I felt GREAT!

No, really, I’m not exaggerating, it was weird just how calm and peaceful I felt in between contractions. (A couple of friends of mine who also had natural births described the same sensation!)

M. was right by my side, encouraging me, and telling me I was doing such a great job and that we would be meeting our baby girl soon. That was all I needed to keep me going. I couldn’t believe that I had somehow made it to this point, and even if I had wanted an epidural, it was too late!

After about 30 minutes of pushing and 12 total hours of labor, I remember the midwife saying “here she is!”, and my sweet baby girl was born at 4:03 pm. I cannot describe to you the instant wave of relief that came over me, our baby girl was here! They immediately placed her on my chest and covered us with a thin blanket. I remember crying, and telling M. over and over again that I couldn’t believe she was here, and telling Lilly how beautiful I thought she was!

I cried because we had waited 9 months to meet her, and she was finally here. I cried because it had only been 1 year and 18 days since we lost our first baby at 12 weeks. I cried because I knew I would do it all again, a thousand times, just for her. For my sweet Lilly, who was now resting on my chest, so calm, cuddled in my arms. We had prayed a long time for this baby girl, and many many others had prayed for her as well.

And now she was here, so tiny and perfect.

Any memory of how painful labor was, was quickly forgotten as I held our tiny baby. M. cut the umbilical cord, and while the nurses cleaned me up (I didn’t need stitches, PTL!), the three of us just huddled together taking in the moment.

They cleaned her up, weighed and measured her, checked out her reflexes. I watched from my bed, completely blown away by the fact that that little baby had been snuggled up inside me less than 30 minutes before. She was perfect! M. quickly FaceTimed his parents, and while he was talking, Lilly turned her head towards his voice, trying to find him. It was the sweetest thing, she already recognized his voice! Of course I started crying, again, I was so overwhelmed with love for that special moment.

After Delivery

After she and I were both cleaned up and got back to snuggling, Lilly let me know that she was hungry (being pushed out into the world is exhausting stuff!). She latched on easily, and after 15 minutes, she was sound asleep in my arms.

Two hours after delivery, the nurse came to transport us to our room where we would stay for the next couple of days. After only two hours, I was able to stand up and walk, unaided, to the bathroom and to the wheelchair (biggest reason why I didn’t want an epidural), and I felt mentally alert! They wheeled us up to our room, where another nurse took over and checked us out, and then we settled in for the evening. M. and I were both exhausted and starving, so we ate dinner and cuddled for the rest of the night.

Overall, I could not have planned an easier birth story. I’ve been called “brave”, “tough”, etc. by people who learned I went natural and without an epidural, but I didn’t do it to give myself a medal or prove how tough I was—my body just doesn’t react well to heavy medication, so that was the motivating factor in my decision.

And having gone through labor med-free, I COMPLETELY understand why women get an epidural!! Seriously, I am totally judgment-free and very (very!) understanding. You do you, Mama! 😉

Yes, it was definitely the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced (Ring of Fire, anyone??), but at the same time, it wasn’t more painful than what I was expecting. I know that sounds strange, but our birthing classes really helped to mentally prepare me for what to expect. For me, knowing what to expect and being prepared for if things don’t go well really helped to keep me calm during labor. I knew contractions would be bad, but I also knew that I would be able to rest in between. I knew that I would really struggle and come pretty close to giving up around 8 cm because that was the hardest part of labor, but I also knew that if I could get to that point, I’d be able to make it the rest of the way.

But I wasn’t prepared for just how intensely I would fall in love with my little girl the moment she arrived. Or how this experience would bring M. and I even closer together, as a couple, because I literally could not have done this without him! He was my support through the whole thing, and I am beyond blessed to call him my husband, and father of our baby girl!

Becoming parents has really changed us, not only how we see and relate to the world, but also how we see and relate to each other. 9 months sure seemed like forever, waiting for Lilly to arrive, but now that she is here, I can’t remember what life was like without her! Our sweet rainbow baby is such a blessing to us, and I praise God, daily, for giving us this precious gift.

I can’t wait to share what our first month at home as been like, lots of funny, crazy new-parent moments to share, but I’ll end this post here. 🙂

Thanks for stopping by and reading Lilly’s birth story, it was awesome to finally get to “write it out”, not only to share with you all, but so I won’t forget how amazing October 19th, 2016 really was.